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Why Shouldn’t Men Assume Women Are Gold Diggers?

Lisa Martens
2 min readAug 25, 2023

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Photo by Christopher Campbell on Unsplash

I recently came across a man’s comment that said something to the effect of “women assume all men are abusive, so I’m going to assume all women are gold diggers.”

Of course, a lot of people argued over why this is faulty. That abusive men kill women, that this is a false equivalency. As someone who survived an abusive relationship, I can tell you that an abusive man is worse than someone wanting their bills paid.

But part of me also thought: Sure. Assume that. That means if you want to date, you’re telling yourself that you’ll need to pay for everything, and she has high expectations. You’re rising to meet the standard. I don’t mind if this man imposes that rule on himself.

See, when a man calls a woman a gold digger, he wants her to prove she’s not. That’s the trick. No! Not me! I’m not shallow like that! I’m not just after money!

But why do we do that? To prove what? I’m tired of it. Assume all women are gold diggers, and then you’re either going to not date because you can’t provide the lifestyle, or you’re going to come to the date paying for everything. What’s the problem?

Why should I struggle to convince any man that he can treat me like less if he has it in his mind that that’s the standard?

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