“Which dating app do you use when you’re traveling?”

Strategies from party towns around the globe.

See you in the bathroom. Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash

“Which dating app do you use when you’re traveling?”
“I stayed at this one hostel where people lined up to have sex in the bathroom. Nobody was using the Internet.”

“Which dating app do you use when you’re traveling?”
“Usually I just look for shirtless models wearing pink sneakers and go from there.”

“Which dating app do you use when you’re traveling?”
“Prostitutes.”

“Doesn’t having to wait in line to have sex in the bathroom ruin the spontaneity of bathroom sex?”
“You would think.”

“Which dating app do you use when you’re traveling?”
“Well, in a hostel, people with the private rooms get first choice. There’s always someone willing to hook up if they get to sleep in a real bed instead of a dorm.”

“Which dating app do you use when you’re traveling?”
“Sitting in a restaurant alone minding my own business until a married couple asks if I want to be their third.”

“Which dating app do you use when you’re traveling?”
“I met this drug dealer who had a really cute dog and he would go from hotel bar to hotel bar with his dog so the girls would pet it. And then buy drugs.”

“Which dating app do you use when you’re traveling?”
“If you work in a hotel, just look up the people who are leaving the next day. This way, whether you hook up or not, you don’t have to see them again.”

“Which dating app do you use when you’re traveling?”
“Having a big ass.”

“What about for a relationship?”
“A what?”

“Which dating app do you use when you’re traveling?”
“Cocaine.”

“Aren’t you afraid that those people just want to marry you for an American Green Card?”
“No, when I went to Colombia they all told me they heard the U.S. was violent, that there were shootings all the time and the government put kids in cages. Nobody wanted to come here. If anything, they wanted me to stay there to have a happier life.”

“Which dating app do you use when you’re traveling?”
“Uber.”
“That’s not a dating app.”
“Tell that to the drivers.”

Books, articles, tip jar.: https://linktr.ee/lisathewriter 📚 Collab? lisa.snetram@gmail.com

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