Troll Translator

A Handy Guide to Knowing When to Stop Talking

Do this. Trolls hate this. Photo by Sarah Cervantes on Unsplash

Some of you already know that I was once paid to read troll comments online. My advice? Unless you’re being paid, do not engage. Or read.

Just keep scrolling.

Respond to those who spark joy.

Here is a translator that will help you know when to X out completely.

What they say: “You’re so sensitive. Oh no! The snowflake is triggered!”

Translation: “I use this technique to belittle people and pretend them having feelings automatically means they are wrong. I use this tactic to insult people with impunity and delight at making others upset. I also use the word ‘trigger’ insensitively and don’t really understand what it means when someone has serious triggers. Please ignore me and, in fact, continue having discussions around me without ever responding to me. I need attention, so this will irritate me. I am also not accepting of people’s feelings in my personal life, either, so I think it’s even more okay to be rude to strangers online.”

What they say: “What you’re saying is unnatural. What you say goes against nature and you yourself are sick for even thinking that way.”