the oscar for leaked sex tape

you pretend to be shocked you’re in the category//like you pretended to be shocked when your videographer uploaded it//he got your best features/got your/eyes to glisten green in the dark/none of that/camera on a chair or tilted laptop angle/like the sex tapes of yesteryear//maybe you’ll win/best soundtrack for leaked sex tape/you picked an older song with a heavy beat/a throwback//everyone is beautiful/your dick looks huge/everyone looks like they’re climaxing/and the video is only a minute long//it’s a great advertisement for sex/sure to disappoint/everyone who doesn’t look like an edited, angled, well-lit, cropped, time-lapsed you.