Return of the Portland Pooper

Lisa Martens
5 min readJan 25, 2019
Yum, chunky. Photo credit

I sighed. He was back.

The Portland Pooper was an unnamed man who constantly uploaded poop photos and videos onto his profile.

He was, even when he used a fake IP addressed, based in Portland.

He tried to create poop-related events. He contacted women with the opening line: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?

He asked the questions he wanted to ask no matter what they said.

Our moderation team had blocked him over and over again. We had identified a few of his favorite photos and the words he commonly used (steamy, bubbling, runny) and had his profiles flagged automatically.

We even had a new rule on our team: Anyone who felt sick after seeing those photos got to look at puppy photos for the rest of the day.

He disappeared. We had thought that maybe he found another site. Or maybe he just got the hint and started toning down his profile.

No such luck. I was looking at a picture of a young woman squatting over a bound man’s face.

He was back.

“When do you think it’s a good time to bring up something like that? The first date? After you’re dating?”

My coworker Leslie and I were in the office kitchen eating the free lunch. Today’s…



Lisa Martens

A remote working Latina. Storytelling is a calling. Read, support, and more here: