Marie Kondo Blooper Reel

What We Didn’t See.

Photo by Jonathan Francisca on Unsplash

Some of the footage was just a little too real, and did not spark joy.

Marie:
“What does this do?”
Holds up flat, curved piece of plastic.

Man wearing feathered cap:
“I know not…”
Falls to knees holding misshapen object.
“O, bewitching creature, reveal thy secrets to me, perplexing spectre, vexing contraption, elf-skin, three-inch fool, I am sick to look upon you, unfit for my home, and yet I cannot release myself from thy clutches! Artless, churless, mewling thing — ”

Marie:
“You don’t help clean?”

Husband:
“I want to clean. I want to throw away all this crap. It was all given to us by her brother. He was arrested for letting kids make meth in his house. I don’t want the meth furniture. Do you want the meth furniture? It’s worth something, she says — ”

Wife:
“They didn’t make meth on the furniture. It was meth adjacent.”

Husband:
“Your brother is a pervert. He probably jacked off on all that furniture.”