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I Thought People Who Needed Extra Help in School Were “Weak”
but I just wasn’t facing my own mental health problems.
My cousin is doing remote learning. He’s in middle school.
He procrastinates and then panics to get things done. Because of the pandemic, he suffers a lot of anxiety. The family has been in the house together since March, and that isn’t helping any.
He receives extra help and his teachers are very kind. He’s doing his best, as are they. But I realized something very important.
I was a lot like him when I was his age.
I would put off doing homework until the last minute, and then the panic would fuel me to get stuff done. I had to drag myself through every day, and distract myself to help decompress. I didn’t like being around people. I felt foggy. I couldn’t plan. I had no ambitions — I didn’t really want to do anything except be left alone.
At the same time, I thought needing extra help or accommodations…was bad.
I had epilepsy and anxiety, and I could still manage to be in normal classes. I was proud of my suffering, of how hard I worked to be considered “normal.” I thought it meant that I was stronger than they were.
