i learned how to be inconvenient.

a poem.

Photo by Jamie Fenn on Unsplash

i learned how to be
inconvenient. to say what i want
to say to
to leave. i learned how to be
inconvenient. to stop
giving the benefit of the doubt
to people who don’t want to change
and to give
new people that benefit instead. I learned
how to be inconvenient. and then
i was avoided
by people who said i was too difficult,
too emotional, too crazy.
and that saved me a lot of time, a lot of
anguish. it was good

when they said that
it was
great
i thought it would hurt
to be rejected
but it’s…a relief
to be rejected
by people you don’t really want
it solved problems for me
that i would spend
countless hours on. they just
took themselves out
they showed themselves the door
once it was clear that they
were not going to get my soul energy
in exchange for
mediocre sex.