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Always and never the same🖤🕸 Buy me an iced latte: Links: 📚

Chances are, they already know.

I keep seeing articles about people who have had children…and their regret.

Having a child by accident, doing it because of social pressure, or doing it to fill a hole in your life.

When women express regret, they’re met with attacks. What if your kids see this? What a terrible mother you must be!

And these parents are affirming and validating their feelings. That’s excellent, and as a child who was 100% a mistake (teenage pregnancy, put up for adoption, and eventually came back to my biological family), I can tell you all one thing:

Chances are, the kids already…

Basically, I didn’t wanna shave.

I’m not going to pretend I did this as a kind of social experiment, or for this article. Truth is, I just did it — It was lockdown, it was New York City, I was bored, and the guy I was seeing was more interested in being pegged than in fucking and pampering me.

I was 31 and wondering if I was still attractive. When I was a decade younger and 30 pounds lighter, I could pull all kinds of dick. Maybe I just wanted to see if I still could do it.

This is probably the part of the…

I got my vaccine and reclaimed the West Side.

Yesterday, I got my first dose of the vaccine at the Javits Center. I took the train to Penn. Of course, I was a bit nervous, but also excited to protect myself against the disease that had killed my grandpa.

I don’t particularly like the area west of Penn Station, where the Javits Center is located. For years, it’s been a sore spot in the city for me. It’s where an ex of mine used to work. I would go and meet him during lunch or after work sometimes. I remember seeing him in a suit for the first time…

All of my Kindle books are going to be free for the next two days!

Are you looking for summer reads?

How about a book where Americans are the illegal immigrants in a Latin American country?

Or a magical realism book where a sister has to relive a hoarding groundhog day?

How about a digital nomad turned cancer caregiver?

Have you ever wondered what it’s like blocking dick pics on a dating site as your job?

ALL OF MY AMAZON KINDLE BOOKS WILL BE FREE May 4–5, 2021. Some will be free for longer, but due to Amazon weirdness, some will only be free for those two days.


1. But Lisa, I don’t have a Kindle!

It’s all good! Kindle has a free app you can use on your phone or laptop.

2. But Lisa, I want to pay you for your books!

Too kind, but really, please download it when it’s free, because it’ll boost my ranking!

If you’re itching to give me money, there’s always the tip jar.

I accept Venmo, PayPal, and…

Cancer Caregiver Snippets.

The caregiver next to us sleeps too long, and her patient’s head swells in the meantime.

She develops an infection, a fever. Then they wheel her into the hospital and try to get the swelling to go down. The caregiver cries and blames herself.

We comfort her. We all try not to blame her. But that is how death is.

Death is a pest. A nuisance, a rat, a roach we are constantly having to swat away with a shoe.

They cannot get the swelling to go down. The patient’s face starts to rip. …

It’s liberating, not problematic.

There are plenty of people out there who “don’t understand” the elation and support Simone Biles is receiving for prioritizing her mental health.

I cheer the death of any institution that tells me I cannot say no. The Olympics has long valued winning over the bodies of young men and women…particularly gymnastics.

Well, the Cold War is over, and I think we are all tired of the dick-waving contest…where grown men are in charge, pushing young, impressionable children into situations where they are supposed to sacrifice themselves.

What’s more — Who is even watching? The Olympics is seeing historically low…

And I Was Accidentally in a Foot Fetish Video, & a Smithsonian Documentary on Race?

This has been one hell of a week.

In 2020, after I had taken care of a relative with cancer for most of 2019, I was determined to pursue new passions and hobbies — One of them being stand-up comedy.

Of course, I couldn’t do that in 2020, but some clubs are starting to open and do open mics now. So I owe 2019 Lisa her new hobby.


On Monday, I went to the Tiny Cupboard for their Storytelling night. I was just an audience member…until they asked if someone from the audience had a story, and before I knew…

On Being “Helped.”

Here she was, some older white woman who just started studying inter-generational trauma, telling me about myself and my ancestors and the pain coded in my DNA — why I needed to be coddled.

Well, fuck, I wasn’t coddled my whole life, and now she was handling me like a hurt kitten.

Here she was, telling me my trauma, trying to be nice, but being…completely off-putting. My trauma, something I lived with my entire life, was some passing curiosity to her. …

I am.

I live on my laptop, eagerly awaiting every Flag Day, Labor Day, Macaroni & Cheese Day.

Did your Facebook page NOT mention Patriot Day? How dare you! Did you mention an American holiday, but quoted a problematic founding father? Inconsiderate! Did you promote some cause with your post? Selfish — making it about YOUR goals…how “pick me” of you.

I am stunned at how many corporations do not observe Military Spouse Appreciation Day, but also don’t think people should glorify the military…recognize them, don’t glorify them.

There’s a difference.

Heroes make sacrifices. Victims are lost. Semantics matter.

And don’t you…

Genuinely, I wonder.

As someone who was a caregiver for a cancer patient two years ago, who met other caregivers and communicated with them online, I have to wonder—

Do anti-Vaxxers care about their resentful caregivers?

Taking care of someone is tricky business. I was very fortunate in that my patient tried very hard, all the time. We exercised together, and ate well, and she was in great spirits.

But not everyone is like that, and not everyone has to be, either. Feeling bad and feeling sick means not always bringing your A game to the table. …

Lisa Martens

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