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Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

After the fallout of Qanon and the recent publicity of the “Q-Shaman” refusing to eat non-organic food in jail, we must grapple with the following reality:

Apparently, people lie on the Internet.

In these unprecedented times, we must realize that there are people who use the internet to anonymously post what lawyers refer to as “unsubstantiated claims” and scientists refer to as “complete and utter bullshit.”

My own personal research has taught me that men looking for sex are willing to lie about their age, height, income, marital status, weight, and desire for a relationship.

Apparently, someone went so far as to create government fanfiction complete with perversions, conspiracy, murder, and secret body doubles. …

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Photo by Steinar Engeland on Unsplash

It was the summer they renamed the school.

The middle school had been named after a man we all thought of as a great athlete and coach. As it turned out, he had been a pervert. Some people thought to just leave it be. After all, the letters were already on the school. The website was already built. What would be the point?

But the board decided a name change was prudent, and within a week, the letters had been changed, the website redirected.

I was browsing the new website, which looked sleeker and had taken less time to build than the original, which was built in 19-something. I was marveling at how quickly the impossible had been done. In just a few years, middle schoolers would laugh at the old people who “couldn’t remember” the name change. …

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Photo by Cornelia Ng on Unsplash

Something was obviously wrong.

She was not a woman anymore, just a weak, fragile being. Love was about the chase, and she was too broken to run. She had done it for years and years — she rejected proposals, she hid, she moved. She thought that the best man was the one with the grandest romantic gestures. And it did work, for a little. The gestures got grander and grander until they disappeared entirely.

She only knew a love like that. Her mom wore diamonds from the husbands of other women…diamonds that turned out to be fake. …

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Photo by Pineapple Supply Co. on Unsplash

You leave the party. You’re the wet blanket, the one who reminded the group of dancing, sweaty bodies that Covid-19 was real. You slink away and refuse to hug anyone. The locals working in the restaurant wear masks. There is fear in their eyes, but they need the money. They hate the tourists — You speak Spanish and you can hear them. Your family is from this country, but you’re American. You feel like a traitor and a fraud...a traitor to your heritage, and a fraud among white Americans.

You feel like you have to go.

You walk back to your hotel room alone. You can’t wait to be back in your family’s house in a small farm town in a local village. You didn’t think the beach would be this bad. You’re a little afraid. You long for home. Your childhood room. …

Early 20s Me Regrets to Inform You.

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Photo by Cosmopolitano Music on Unsplash

You thought he was magical. He didn’t seem like it, but you just knew, under that exterior, that he was special. You were picking up on the signals that no one else understood. You poured over his words and looked for all the subtle clues.

Your friends and family warned you, and he had done so many people wrong. But you knew.

You knew you were special. You knew that, even though he didn’t make explicit promises, that he would live up to your hopes and dreams. …

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Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

You were a big strong man who saw I was a damsel in distress, and you said you could save me from this bar, and possibly from my own life. My pain was a prop to you. You got to come in and be the hero. You got to save me by having sex with me.

But dude I nailed who was supposed to save me, where did you go? I mean, I still have all my traumas and problems. Your dick didn’t actually cure anything. Do you wanna hear about the source of my ill-conceived coping mechanisms? …

Conservatives Got Their Favorite Book All Wrong

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Photo by Siddhant Kumar on Unsplash

Hi! I’m new to the book club. New to Ayn Rand, actually. Unlike all of you, I never read this book to try to earn scholarship money. I didn’t have this book forced down my throat with the promise of $20K or whatever. I don’t know much about Social Darwinism. I actually just kind of hatched, landed in this book club, and read Atlas Shrugged.

And I just gotta say, I’m really surprised about how nobody is stating the obvious. I’m not hating the player here. I’m not judging. Dagny was hot, and rich, and the world was falling apart. …

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Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

“I saw the picture of you with your friends.”

“It was my birthday.”

“Yeah? And are they tested? You could have exposed our kids to Covid-19.”

“Those are moms in my friend group. We all get tested every two weeks, and have been for months. What is this really about? You were the one who said Coronavirus was a hoax.”

“Just surprised to see you out, is all.”


“Don’t you think it would be better if we moved back in together?”

“Why’s that?”

“Especially with the home schooling…this has just been a lot.”

“You have the kids Wednesdays and weekends. …

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Photo by Photoholgic on Unsplash

Who remembers the Dateline TV series To Catch a Predator?

Volunteers lure unsuspecting men into a suburban honeypot. They pretend to be young teens in chat rooms (remember those?), and adult men start sexual chats with them online (ASL?).

Then, when these men come to meet the unsuspecting young teens, Chris Hansen walks out with the transcript of the explicit chat, and asks them to explain their behavior.

In later episodes, the police are waiting for these men outside.

Adults cheered the cops on. We laughed. We said those men got what they deserved. …

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Photo by Esther Tuttle on Unsplash

He never apologized for his affair…affairs. He had many lovers, and she had only caught him with one. “But what about the ones you didn’t know about?” he sneered as she began to pack her bag.

She hated how smug he was. He was sure that she would not leave — They had children, a business together, two pieces of property. Their marriage was ideal and fruitful. He was so sure that she would not leave.

And he was right. Even she had her doubts. But they had been two souls joined, and if she let him do this, then he will have hallowed out her soul and used it as a shell. She would just be a thing to protect him from reality. A secretary, an employee. She would no longer be a whole soul, but a ghost. She wouldn’t hurt, because she would feel nothing. …

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